Legends Club

Rumple 2005: Orlando Magic

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Hurricane Wilma now looked like it would hold off and it did. 70 mph winds and a "ghost town" replaced Orlando the day after we left according to Bird Mountain, who hung out for a while in the Big O. You would think we were golden, but then Tecumseh came out of the liquor store with a 3 Liter bottle of Grey Goose and Gonzo followed him with a 5th of Rebel Yell. Foreshadowing anyone? So we get back to the houses, the keg is tapped, the pizza guy is bringing a dozen, the pool table is being scarred by bad play and ahem, the cement pond is open. I could hit you with party blow by blows, but let's just say everyone saw Big Pun's sweater back and that was preferable to what was going on around him. A little poker, a little joker and, depending on your perspective, things either got ugly or interesting.

So, quick out of the gate, Gonzo and Tecumseh both went big. Each man was nominated for Rumple Knuckleskin in 2005, but I believe the winner will be clear with a little detail. Tecumseh: Hanging at the house, drinking heavily (and if you have seen this, then you know this next portion is true) we discover that dude has a twin brother. Not a real twin, but an alter ego like the "not me" character on Family Circus (if you get that joke, for the love of god, go outside and try to meet a girl). Lovable in his own way, this twin is everyone's buddy. Now, sometimes "everyone's buddy" might be read with a touch of sarcasm like the guy is actually an a@#hole. Simply not the case. When this is present among men, Tecumseh is your wingman for life. When present among women, he can pivot on dime and render them enraptured. Beware when discovered in the wild.

So Tecumseh wants to borrow my shorts so he can take a swim. No problem, off he goes to do some flailing and some near drowning a bit of a disappearing act. But don't fear... About 3 am I started off to bed and realized that I didn't have an alarm clock. My phone would suffice, but I thought that I might be able to locate one somewhere in the house as a backup. I looked for a while, in the kitchen, the garage, etc. I gave my bedroom closet a try, but, oddly, it won't budge. next page